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[arkangath]

Dear Castrating Harpy,

By the time you read this, I\\'ll be blowing your best friend. I\\'m sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a brain aneurysm to you - especially because you\\'re too buried in porn to notice. But I\\'m sorry ââ,¬â€œ I just need hot sex with someone who isn\\'t a human potato sack. I think you\\'re a schmuck, but I don\\'t think we\\'re right for each other. First of all, we\\'re not compatible. You\\'re a Scientologist, and I\\'m vastly superior to you. You like leather harnesses, you eat inorganic produce, and enjoy televised sports, and I don\\'t like confessing my love for any of these things. Your favorite movie is Anything Steven Segal, and your favorite band is Rammstein. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date everyone at your firm. But you know what? I still want to be dead to you. We can totally file restraining orders . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I\\'m passed out) . But please, don\\'t worry like last time. That means no botched suicide attempts. And look - I won\\'t even make an issue out of the you owe me, or the fact that you cheated on me. So take care of yourself - and enjoy prison.

Yours In Contempt,

Arkangath

P.S. I faked every orgasm


Façam as vossas em http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/dearjohn/index.asp

EDIT: Já agora, este também ta porreiro! http://wtfzup.com/2007/09/13/7-awesome-dear-john-letters/